February 2012
2 posts
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The Breakup Guru
I am now taking questions at The Breakup Blog’s Facebook page. Feel free to ask me anything, be it advice on your breakup, how it feels to get dumped (it’s happened to me on multiple occasions), or just what color underwear I am wearing today (floral).
January 2012
6 posts
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But you can write about it on your blog!!
If I hear one more of my friends say that sentence as justification for making me do things I don’t want to do, I promise I will personally disband The Breakup Blog simply to make a point.
Ok. That is a bit extreme. I wouldn’t go that far, however, my friends are collecting bad karma points for taking advantage of me in that particular way. And therein lies the problem with being a...
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The Problem with Girls...
So I can’t speak for all girls. But I can speak for myself. And I can speak for most of the girls I know, and most of us have one vital flaw. We are way more invested in the guys we date than they are in us.
Now I’m not talking about “the one.” No, when it’s right- and I’ve seen couples for whom it is just right- both people are equally invested. But...
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For all those who are wondering...
What’s with all the new social media?
Last week, I went to NY and met some amazing literary agents, one of whom will hopefully end up helping me with turning this blog into a FULL-LENGTH BOOK!
On my recent trip, though, I was reminded just what a huge part you (my readers) have played and continue to play in The Breakup Blog’s success! That being said, I want to hear from you! Any...
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The Breakup Blog goes Facebook! →
For all you guys and girls, who want a place to share your thoughts, questions, and rants about breakups, breaking up, and relationships in general, please check this out! I’ll be answering your questions, offering advice, and keeping you updated on all things Breakup Blog-related!
xoxo thebreakupblogger
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Follow Me on Twitter!! →
All the best breakup advice in 140 characters or less…
Anonymous asked: i just wanna say, i'm going through the same thing as you are, or were. stupidly, i went out with my best friend. we told each other we wouldn't change if we broke up. well.. we JUST broke up. & i can't help but feel like nothings ever gonna feel the same. & he still wants to be the old buddies we were. & i just can't & i feel horrible for that.
December 2011
1 post
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November 2011
3 posts
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Now what?
Today it dawned on me that over the past several months, I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the “getting over him” process, but very little about what comes after it. Maybe because I don’t feel like I’m there so I just haven’t added anything else to my agenda. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that maybe there really isn’t a...
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Ignoring Your Inner Psycho-Child
It has been 647 days or 1 year, 9 months, and 9 days since I took to the internet to share my every OCD, homicidal, self-piteous feeling after my breakup with my ex. I know this because I just used a website to calculate this, which evoked a mix of emotions, not the least of which was shame that I still scan Facebook on a nearly weekly basis for traces of him.
But something has changed because...
October 2011
1 post
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A personal ad for the ages...
Over the past few months, I’ve had a few minor run-ins with members of the male persuasion which have made me think that, though my ex exacerbated these negative tendencies, I’m probably a little crazy, immature, and/or neurotic all on my own. I mean, I, of course, no longer stalk my ex or any new guys for that matter, but I’ve caught myself more than once stubbornly needing to...
September 2011
2 posts
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Love Made Me Crazy- The Book...dun dun dunnnn!
For all of you amazing readers who said that you would read whatever I write, hopefully you mean it! Despite being incredibly emotionally draining, scary, and HARD, I am finally sitting down to turn this blog into a full-length book, Love Made Me Crazy. (Still working on a tagline and am totally taking suggestions! ;) )
You can read the intro below and follow my progress at my brand-spanking new...
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Acceptance/ Your Long-Awaited Update
According to the Kubler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief and loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Usually, this process is referred to when dealing with a death, but I have experienced every single one of those emotions since the breakup that spawned this blog nearly a year and a half ago.
I have denied the reality of our split, showing up at his doorstep at...
April 2011
2 posts
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Be Careful What you Wish For...
I am sitting with tears streaming down my face and I am reminded that information is a powerful thing.
When we no longer have access to the one person we knew inside and out, we tell ourselves that just having a glimpse of their life after us is all we need to move on. Sometimes, when we say that all we want is to know, all we really want is to not have to even think about it.
I recently moved...
March 2011
3 posts
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The Breakup
A friend patted me on the back yesterday and congratulated me for “growing up.” This comment was preceded by my confession that I’d never really broken up with anyone before. I hate direct confrontation so much so that I’d always just alternated between ignoring and driving my boyfriends crazy with obnoxious behavior until they were forced to dump me.
But I knew I...
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The Rebound
One of the things they tell you when you go through a horrible breakup and the snot and tears have finally dried (for the most part) yet you’re still in a rut is to go out and date someone new.
It’s the age-old advice. When you fall off your bike, you gotta dust off your scraped knees and get back on. Jump back into the saddle, if you will. Now I, a serial dater who literally has...
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February 2011
1 post
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I'm back bitches!!!
Ok, ok… I will start off by admitting… I suck. I’ve missed you all so much, but couldn’t seem to bring myself to write. For starters, I’ve been in a relationship for the past few months and somehow the idea of having him stumble upon this little treasure trove of my numerous neuroses regarding men sends chills down my spine. I’m enough of a handful apart from...
October 2010
3 posts
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It's my party and I'll rant if I want to...
Because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, I’m going to take this opportunity to let off a little steam. I rarely rant for the sake of ranting, but everyone deserves to be a little self-indulgent every once in a while. So… here’s a little list of do’s and don’ts that I have taken away from my very bizarre morning:
Guys:
If you’re not that into a girl,...
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Is the relationship officially dead when you start...
I love writing. And after three switched majors and two quarter-life crises, I’m fairly sure it’s what I want to do for a living. However, it doesn’t quite pay the bills. At least not yet. Neither does changing diapers and moonlighting as a nanny every other afternoon.
So lately, I’ve been mentally pawning off my belongings to pay off my accumulating debt. And...
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Normal?
I may have the best job ever. Sure, the family I work for never has any decent junk food in their house and, as a nanny, it is inevitable that at least once a day I will get pooped or thrown up on, but in exchange for the bodily fluids and having to take on the task of making sure the 4-year-old doesn’t punch the 1-and-a half-year-old in the face over a toy car, I get the best therapy...
September 2010
5 posts
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Sleeping with the (friend of the) enemy
Bros before hoes. Chicks before dicks. We all know the sacred unspoken rule of putting friends before relationships and usually I agree with it. I’d never dream of pursuing an ex’s close friends. But what if the relationship has crashed and burned and will never be able to be revived? And does the rule encompass any common casual acquaintances or just close friends? All in all, Is...
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One final ode to Match.com
So after realizing I just simply do not have the time to devote to meeting men in bars and online, I’ve decided to cancel my subscription to Match.com. But as I say a final goodbye to the online dating world, I have a few questions to ask.
I’m assuming this is limited to LA, but why is it that every accountant, dentist, or teacher has a headshot amongst his profile pictures? Is...
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Dating is a full-time job..
A few days ago while slumped over my computer in my early morning public relations class after a night of dancing till 2 AM, I realized two things. One, taking a Saturday morning class was one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever had and two, that being in a relationship may be mentally exhausting, but being single is physically and financially exhausting!
In the past week alone, I’ve gone...
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A warning to the love obsessed everywhere...
Thank God I’ve never dated a guy with a fireplace before! This is just gruesome…
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Young, single, and not (too) jealous of my...
Perhaps I’m calling myself out as a true child of the early 90s, but for a greater part of my childhood I couldn’t wait to be fourteen like the girls in my beloved Babysitters’ Club books. Seriously, my life goal at ten was to wear a training bra and watch other people’s screaming children after school. Sixteen wasn’t even on the radar.
Never would I have imagined...
August 2010
6 posts
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If I ever needed a reason to feel stupider for...
It would be the cell phone bill I just received with a hundred dollars in usage charges while in India. Broken down that would be $2.50 for every time I stubbornly pressed redial one pathetic night only to get my ex’s voicemail.
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Did my India trip really have to coincide with the...
I can safely say without any exaggeration on my part that the number one question I’ve been asked since returning from my trip abroad has been, “Was it like Eat, Pray, Love?”
My answer? Um… Well, I ate lots of chicken nuggets and Subway since Indian food and my stomach don’t get along. I prayed every day that one of India’s frequent power outages would not...
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Who knew the Facebook rejection could be taken to...
I said Sunday that I would explain my Saturday night almost-temper tantrum, so here goes…
Months ago, when I first started this blog, I sat down at my computer and started jotting down ideas for posts. Things that sucked about breaking up. Things that were funny. Things that made me want to burst into tears. One of the things that fell under the category of “things that suck so...
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Match.com kept me from having a hangover and...
Have you ever hit your funny bone on something and the pain is so intense, but instead of crying you just scream at whatever inanimate object you were unlucky enough to hit your arm on? Ok, maybe I am the only one who screams at things that can’t scream back or maybe it’s just a terrible analogy, but my point is this: sometimes shit hurts but instead of feeling hurt, you just want to...
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Moving on is much harder in an empty house in LA
Not to be Captain Obvious, but moving on is much easier when you’re sipping mocktails on the beach on the other side of the world. Since I’ve been home, the combination of jetlag due to the 12 and a half hour time difference in India, no gas or money to go anywhere, and renewed 24 hour a day access to the internet are not helping my goal of being a happily single woman.
After my...
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The time has come...
Sorry for all the delays people… internet has been hard to come by in Sri Lanka…but for everyone who’s been asking… here you go:
You know those stupid college essays which ask you to answer the most inane questions that seem so completely irrelevant to your current life that you can’t help but roll your eyes at the administration that came up with them and wonder why you...
July 2010
3 posts
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True confessions from the only sober person in a...
Whenever you mix a group of pseudo-close knit girls and an excessive amount of alcohol, at least one will do something ridiculous like shave part of her head and yet another will break down into tears and begin confessing uncomfortably intimate details of her broken childhood. Both of these things happened two nights ago and they’re both reminders of why I don’t drink anymore.
But...
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Is my insanity that transparent?
One of my friends who is studying abroad here with me in India told me today over lunch that she had a dream last night that I went insane and was writing my ex’s name over and over in a notebook.
I have mentioned him to her like twice since I’ve been here. Am i inadvertently radiating hostility or neuroses or something?
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I'm back on the grid... fuck yeah!!!
Today marks the start of the fourth week of my stay in southern India and to celebrate, I spent the afternoon chowing down on a chicken burger, fries, and a huge slice of apple pie from one of the few places in Bangalore that sells American food and trying to get through to an internet call center to finally set up my internet.
After weeks of trying to write (and failing miserably) in a tiny,...
June 2010
3 posts
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Sometimes you have to cross an ocean to get some...
Almost exactly a year ago, I was about to board a plane to Hawaii to take my first ever solo traveling excursion. Almost exactly a year ago, I was madly in love with this guy. And almost exactly a year ago, he gave me this necklace with St. Christopher on it to protect me during my Hawaiian adventure and all my adventures to come.
About two months ago, as I was having a rare pleasant conversation...
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Lesson learned this week: Psychics on Melrose have...
I do not like to feel bad. If I have a sore throat, a bump on my arm, or a headache, I am immediately online searching for remedies. That goes for emotions, as well. So it goes without saying that I have done everything I could think of during these past few months to cure my lovesickness.
In my quest to feel better, I have tried exercise, distractions in the form of happy movies (to cheer...
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Hold on to your seats.. I'm about to talk about my...
As we all know, (or maybe you don’t, but you will soon enough) I will take any opportunity I am afforded to talk about my vagina. After realizing that men read this blog too, I have tried to show some restraint, but I can only hold out for so long.
So since my first waxing experience, chronicled on this blog, I have become a dedicated waxee, trudging each month through the doors of the tiny...
May 2010
9 posts
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So I haven't known what to write about for a...
Then it dawned on me as I was trying to clear my desktop of all my open windows just now. I use my instant messaging account to talk to a very small amount of people. A friend in LA who is online a lot, my best friend in Illinois, and him. I tend to just minimize the conversations when I’m done rather than close them out.
This is pretty much because I am a hoarder, plain and simple. I hoard...
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Finally I can offer some advice that I haven't had...
[my best friend since childhood talking about a new guy she’s hooking up with]
Her: I dunno, I am a major mess. I haven’t been this anxious in over a year.
Me: Well STOP IT.
Her: I know. Ugh I thought I was gonna vomit last night for some reason and I’ve been spotting which never happens. I felt like I was going to pass out.
Me: You’re freaking yourself out for no...
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My poor, poor naive therapist.
Recently, I noticed I’m always trying to give lots of witty advice and making it seem like I totally learned some big lesson in my posts. But I have to admit that most of the time taking my own advice is the hardest part for me. Half the time, the second I’m finished writing about how the best way to handle the situation is to accept it as “x, y, and z,” I’m instantly...
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Last I looked out my window, my Honda was not a...
You know when you want something to be what you want it to be so badly that you convince yourself it really is? Like, sometimes I wish my Honda was a MiniCooper so badly that I insist on squeezing into parking spaces that are way too small for it and, in the process, scrape up every inch of my bumper.
My ex is my Honda. Well, not literally, but you know. In the beginning, he was perfect. Okay,...
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Just plain old shameless self-promotion...
I got tired of only whining about some guy all the time… here’s the rest of me.
http://tempertantrumrainstorms.tumblr.com/
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The perpetual jaywalker.
If I were to tell you that I jaywalked and got hit by a car and broke my leg, you’d probably feel a little bad for me. But after my leg healed, what if I jaywalked again and got hit and broke my arm? And then while I was still in my cast, I jaywalked once more and got hit and ended up in a full fucking body cast. You’d say I was insane.
This is pretty much what I do with my ex. We...
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Fuck.
Emotional relapse. Oh shit.
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It's just one of them days (to quote a...
I have been through breakups before. But none like this. Isn’t it like Day gazillion and one by now? I’m pretty sure it’s been long enough.
Right now I wanna be clever. I want to be funny and witty and not bitch and moan. I’m pretty goddamn happy for the most part these days, I must admit. I’m almost finished with the semester and I will be departing to study abroad...
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My sister can't spoon me when I'm sick, but at...
There’s nothing like being sick to make you miss having a man in your life. I am currently bed-bound with a terrible cold for the gazillionth time already this year (stupid pollen count).
I’m pretty sure my little sister would agree, as I have made her my substitute “boyfriend” and have been croaking orders at her since she arrived home from school. She is in the kitchen...