I’m back bitches!!!
Ok, ok… I will start off by admitting… I suck. I’ve missed you all so much, but couldn’t seem to bring myself to write. For starters, I’ve been in a relationship for the past few months and somehow the idea of having him stumble upon this little treasure trove of my numerous neuroses regarding men sends chills down my spine. I’m enough of a handful apart from my spotty relationship history. Also, I’ve been on a mission to apply to grad schools for writing, which has required me to pull 20+ pages of top-quality non-fiction out of my ass. Needless to say, that has kept me occupied, not to mention in a constant state of frenzy.
But enough with the excuses. I have finally appealed to the pleas of my devoted fans (aka my best friend’s little sister’s repetitive Facebook posts requesting me to “post damnit”) and have sat down to give you all an update. So…
I last left you with my nasty dumping at the hands of Mr. Douchebag of the Year. Well, I left a t-shirt at Mr. Douchebag’s house and when I met up with him to return it, one thing led to another and he became my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for the past few months and in exchange for his giant douchey blunder, he has been sentenced to preparing dinner for me at least three times a week, which he has dutifully carried out.
Now before you go rolling your eyes, let me remind you that I am hardly the poster child for healthy habits. Hell, I like to eat entire Sara Lee coffee cakes for dinner. Mr. Douchebag is certainly not Mr. Perfect, but he keeps me company and for now, that’s enough.
As far as the ex goes, well you could say we’ve been on interesting terms. But that’s another story. A big, fat juicy one that I will save for next time in an effort to keep both of us coming back for more.
I hope you’ll stick with me and I promise, from now on, we’ll see more of each other.
xoxo the breakup blogger
