One of the things they tell you when you go through a horrible breakup and the snot and tears have finally dried (for the most part) yet you’re still in a rut is to go out and date someone new.
It’s the age-old advice. When you fall off your bike, you gotta dust off your scraped knees and get back on. Jump back into the saddle, if you will. Now I, a serial dater who literally has full conversations with my four-year-old schnauzer when I am forced to be without company, can totally get behind this type of advice- usually.
But I’ve quickly discovered over the course of my six month “rebound,” that sometimes what starts off as a distraction only ends up serving as a reminder of all the things you miss from your last relationship.
This guy, as clueless as he may be, never stood a chance with me. When he bought me thigh high socks for Christmas, I lamented to any friend that would listen that my ex bought me a piano our first Christmas together. When he was “nice” in bed, I inwardly lusted after the “naughty” sex life I’d enjoyed with my ex. And when I gently pushed him into being a little bit rougher in the sack, I’d lay in bed afterward visualizing the gentle way my ex had made love to me as our relationship became more and more intimate.
As time went by, I began to resent my new boyfriend more and more till I could hardly contain my glee as I walked around relishing all his faults and planning the day and exact manner in which I was going to dump him. But the weirdest thing was, as time went on and I grew more annoyed by his presence, he became more and more enamored with mine.
Then it happened. The thing I’d always jumped ahead to say long before it was true, he sent in a text message on the evening of my birthday. The “L” word. And that’s when I knew. I had to break up with him.
Because even after a breakup when it seems that the only plausible thing in the world is the pain that you’re feeling and everything and everyone else seems to be whirling around you in one big blur, it’s hard to remember that all those little people in that whilrlwind have their own hearts which are just waiting to be broken.
And one person’s rebound may be another person’s love. And so the chain continues…