Finally I can offer some advice that I haven’t had to give myself…
[my best friend since childhood talking about a new guy she’s hooking up with]
Her: I dunno, I am a major mess. I haven’t been this anxious in over a year.
Me: Well STOP IT.
Her: I know. Ugh I thought I was gonna vomit last night for some reason and I’ve been spotting which never happens. I felt like I was going to pass out.
Me: You’re freaking yourself out for no reason. Dude, no guy is worth barfing or bleeding over. For reals.
Her: haha.
Me: Anyways, I’m so glad you did the deed with xxxxx. Even if God’s not happy.
Her: haha thanks?
