I love writing.  And after three switched majors and two quarter-life crises, I’m fairly sure it’s what I want to do for a living.  However, it doesn’t quite pay the bills.  At least not yet.  Neither does changing diapers and moonlighting as a nanny every other afternoon.

So lately, I’ve been mentally pawning off my belongings to pay off my accumulating debt.  And somehow, my eye always ends up on the expensive digital piano doubling as a second dresser in the corner of my bedroom.  It’s the nicest gift my ex ever got me.  In fact, it’s the nicest gift any boyfriend has ever gotten me, both due to the fact that it cost a shitload and even more so because of the sincere thoughtfulness of it.

Two Christmases ago, our first Christmas together and only three months into our relationship, my ex who was living in the apartment above me at the time, surprised me by hiding the piano in my bed.  When I pulled back my covers, I was shocked to find a beautiful new Yamaha P-85 keyboard nestled amongst my pillows.  I was in tears.  I had mentioned on our first date, that I’d always wanted to learn to play the piano, but had never gotten the opportunity as a kid.

But now, it sits gathering dust.  Every week or so, I wipe it down with a clean cloth and muse that I should practice more often, but within minutes I’ve forgotten the promise to myself until the next time I remember to dust.  It only makes sense that I ought to make some money off of it.  But even though it’s been months since I sobbingly clung to any of the relics my ex gave me during our relationship, selling it still feels wrong.

When my stepmother divorced my dad and pawned her wedding ring and bought my stepsister and I diamond pendants, I cheered her on, proud that she had symbolically flicked my dad off by selling the piece of jewelry.  So why do I risk impending poverty rather than hock my piano on Craigslist? And it begs a larger question: just what do we do with those gifts from our exes when we send them packing? Should we appreciate them for what they are- good gifts that just happen to be from an ex or should they go too?

P.S. If you ever wondered what I look like (or even if you haven’t and could care less,) check out my new blog on buzznet.com The Breakup Blogger where I’ll be answering all the relationship, sex, dating, etc., questions you could possibly ever want answered! Hop on over there and ask me questions or just show me lovvveeee!!

xoxo thebreakupblogger

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